DAY 14: BOO, TECH AND I

As we conclude the business and tech week, I remember promising to tell you about how technology has kept my relationship going. At this point I am not so sure what you’re expecting but let me see if I can live up to your expectation…hehe.

A couple of weeks back a friend of mine and I decided to have a fling of sorts…we pretty much know each other’s “dark” side and by that I mean the things you NEVER would comfortably talk about with just about anyone. I am such a planner but I didn’t even give this any thought since it was more or less passing time. You know those people who you have in your life but no serious relationship is planned? That was us indeed.

As days went by, the communication became quite frequent. Did I mention proximity is not a thing on our side? We are so many miles a part😭, how we planned to do this, I really had no clue. Anyway, in came the frequent calling and texting to talk about anything and everything. Remember when I mentioned we’re friends? The friendship really grew to a point where we were in so much sync…I started freaking out!!! How do I tell him that I am really not cut out for casual relationships because I have to be sooo deliberate to keep my heart out of it which is so exhausting because my heart seems so nosy…always jumping in my business…yes I developed crazy feelings for him.

I have NEVER been a fun of long distance relationships because I’m a person who likes physical touch…have you met my family 👪? We are the hugging committee…haha. So us being far apart was draining me and I was not about to tell him how I felt over the phone. I can hardly handle face to face rejection, over the phone would rip me apart. So for fear of being rejected, I put a pin in my feelings. Little did I know that the human was also battling the same.

One time we are having our usual all over conversations and I mention to him some guy that was “shooting his shot” and he goes…”tell him you’re dating”. I first take a few seconds to breathe and so I ask; am I? The response I got after that I never expected buy definitely wanted to hear it. He said to me, “yes. We’re dating. I’m sorry I may not be so good with asking you to be my girlfriend but I thought all these frequent calls and texts would pass on that message.”

People! I hate reading between lines because apparently I suck at it🤷‍♀️ but this wasn’t the time for the girl child to act dumb. So I most definitely asked a few questions just to be sure we’re on the same page and then off started a relationship…a long distance one. My brain was fighting with my heart every single day, the fights were all around the fact that I can’t really handle a long distance relationship.

However, unlike Austin and Eunice (the current all time favorite love story on Afrobloggers platform), Prince charming and I have met, remember I told you we were friends before? So occasionally he will be in town and I will have to literally stop time so we can spend the little time he’s here together and then cry that he’s leaving and like pms, the cycle continues…

So here’s where technology comes in; the fact that we are able to email, text, have a WhatsApp video chat, text all the time on WhatsApp and then of course the daily phone calls. None of these was ever really my cup of tea because I seem to run out of patience sometimes, so long phone calls never ever made sense to me until now. It’s all I’ve got until the next couple of months when we see each other again😔. I wonder when technology will advance to a point where I can get a real hug…imagine hands coming out of our laptop to hug you…don’t mind me, I have a very visual crazy mind 🤦‍♀️

Anyway, if this happened to me 10 years ago I would say NO a million times. But i have found myself actually comfortable with my current setting because we both get to focus on work and on our individual selves. Being in a long distance relationship has taught me to cherish every moment but also to be a bit tech savy because sometimes network fails you and you have to do all you can to communicate.

So 🥂here’s to new things and to a unique love I have found in you my Prince Charming😍😍.

P.S: I love you 💌

#DAY 14/22 WINTERSBC2021

#DAY 5/5 BUSINESS AND TECH WEEK

DAY 13: THUMBS UP FOR YOU👍

My computer is playing games but I am determined to blog today…so here I am using my phone🤦‍♀️. There’s a first time for everything I guess. Best and horrible thing about using the phone is that it does auto correct. Anyway, that’s not what I’m here to talk about. There are times I go to places and fully experience them. So today allow me acknowledge those businesses that go out of their way to make their clients feel special;

1. LATITUDE ZERO DEGREES:

On my birthday in May I made a wish that someone should pay for me a night at Latitude Hotel in Kampala, Uganda. Guess what? A lovely friend of mine decided to make my wish come true. So on a beautiful Saturday afternoon I drove to the hotel. On arrival, my bags were lifted off me, my details confirmed and a polite gentleman walked me to my room. He then took the time to run me through a few things, how to turn on the lights using the key card, the numbers to call in case I needed anything, how to turn on the TV, the whole time I was smiling because I thought these things were obvious! But then it dawned on me that for him it’s protocol and also there might actually be a client who doesn’t know how to use these things. I was treated like a queen the whole time I was there, everyone was polite, no assumptions made on any matter! So thumbs up to the team at Latitude…you’re awesome 👌.

2. CJ’S:

First off let me applaud them for presenting my food exactly as seen in the menu. I totally hate it when I see a different picture in the menu and then receive a whole different thing after my order comes through. Aside from that, I cannot fail to acknowledge the consistency displayed by each of their branches. These guys make you feel like they are one gigantic restaurant across Kampala. Everything is the same, the food, the service, the the people, the uniforms,among others. I must say that even if i don’t feel like a meal there, once I get a sit, I can’t help it but order. So I applaud you for doing your best to remain consistent and committed to the customer…Good job you guys.

3. SOOTHING SPOT SPA:

When someone mentions the word spa I think mini break from my busy mind, relaxation, smooth music, silence as in no human speaking, awesome scents in the atmosphere, I could go on. When I park my car at acacia mall and walk into this spa, I feel like I just hopped into one of those swirly things that lead you to another dimension like in “the flash”…( I can’t believe that’s the reference I have come up with 🤦‍♀️). Back to the spa…soothing spot makes me feel so special and did I mention the massage includes a steam bath? I love It!! And then there’s that glass of juice after the massage…makes you feel like the most healthy eater alive…lol. It’s after I walk out that I’m reminded of where I am. But still, I come out way more relaxed than I went in.

4. MARIA MY HAIR LADY;

I know…she is located in Bugolobi market somewhere in Kampala, Uganda. This woman will be available the time she says she will, she knows I’m super picky so she will clean up the whole place ready for me to sit and do my hair. Meanwhile, I never know what to do with my hair but she will always figure it out. So here’s to her and all our people who do business on a small scale but surely sort us out.🥂

I want to celebrate every one in business that deliberately labors to make sure their customers experience them. May your businesses blossom and may you continue to strive for consistency and excellence. As we conclude the business and tech week, I will tell you about how technology has helped me stay in my relationship😉

In the meantime, who do you want to celebrate and why? Please join me in the comment section. I can’t wait to hear from you.

#DAY 13/22 WINTERABC2021

#DAY 4/5 BUSINESS AND TECH WEEK

DAY 12: YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN BOSS…

When people are talking about having your own business, it sounds so doable! As simple as quit your job and start, the customers will come flooding in…I’m not sure I am the first to say this but sorry to break it to you darling… all that is crap, it’s a lie. Here’s the thing about quitting your job to start a business, you have to make it work because there is no reverse button on this one. So I beseech you by the mercies of God, please make sure you have saved enough money to cushion you while you’re doing the Hussle. Allow me talk about a few things I have observed and some I have experienced through people close to me as must dos or haves before making a decision to run a business. So here goes;

  1. Knowledge about what you want to do; Make sure you make substantial research about the business you would like to start. You could gather this knowledge form multiple places; the internet, friends, people who are in the same business, relatives, name it! Information is literally everywhere, we just choose not to get it and equip ourselves. Sometimes we think it is the other way round, you start the business, then start finding out about it; for example; the nature of customers, capital required, expected profit margins, the marketing required, sales expected, the logistics of it all. The white man wasn’t lying when he said knowledge is power. However, in one of Mable Amuron’s blogs via https://amuron.com/ she mentions that if you want to hide something from an African, place it in a book; I’d like us to prove them wrong, read, read, read and grow your knowledge in different fields because a business encompasses a lot, for example; accounting, sales, procurement, customer relations, debt collection, operations, the list goes on and on.

2. People to hold your hand and teach you the tricks of the trade; No man is an island, it does not matter how much you know, there is something you definitely don’t know. So as you plan to start that business, allow people to hold your hand. And not just anyone, pick people who either have been there or have some good business knowledge especially on the field you want to venture into. Just like a little baby starting to walk, they will always need support until they find their footing. In all this, remember to stay humble and learn as much as you can.

3. Measure the passion you have for what you want to do; You see, with a regular 8-5 job, whether you’re passionate or not, obligation will get you to do your job. Whether you feel like it or not, the KPIs are still there waiting for you to hit them or you get into the performance management spotlight which usually is coupled up with being micro managed by your boss. Running a business and sticking to it requires passion, that is why most times when finding a business to do, you start by looking at the things you are passionate about. After the frustrations kick in, at least you’re sure that the one motivator that won’t give in is your passion for that thing.

4. Envision the branding; When you think of your business, what would you like people to view it as? From the name, to the logo, the colors, the general outlook of the physical location of your business, the people that work for you, what they wear, among other things. Know what you want people to remember or think of when they hear the name of your business being mentioned. Ask yourself what impact you’d like to have on your target market. Never do half baked work when it comes to branding, take all the time you need to fully visualize what you want your brand to be. Thereafter, start to build the brand and pay attention to every last detail of it.

5. Be open to evolving; When someone talks about evolving the picture that comes to my mind is that of a pupa that becomes a butterfly. Change is very scary but it leads to growth in one way or another. In business, the dynamics change based on a number of factors; it could be the climate, a virus, inflation, tastes and preferences of customers, to mention but a few. One needs to accept challenges, have an open mind because these help you grow the muscle to actually push on and see your business grow from one stage to another. Most times you will be required to start small and gradually grow big, but because the future is unpredictable, growth might come to you faster than you imagined! Don’t freak out, take in strides and allow yourself to grow.

6. Whatever happens, don’t give up on your dream; Persistence and resilience are qualities you will definitely need in order to hold on to your dream. Are you going to make losses? yes, most definitely but that doesn’t mean you up and leave. Instead it means, you sit down, analyze the situation, learn from it, plan to do better, get up and keep moving. I have seen friends start businesses and stick in there, go through a crazy turnover with employees but now they have stabilized and are making good profits; and don’t be fooled, they are still making a few losses here and there but the profits are higher than the losses now. So take heart, keep keeping on, focus on the goal and strive to get there; if it requires a change in strategy, do it!

So, are you your own boss? Not exactly. Yes you own the business but your bosses are all those customers that are looking up to you to deliver on the products and services you promised to by opening the business in the first place. What other pointers would you give someone considering to start a business? Drop all those in the comment section; can’t wait to hear from you all.

#Day 12/22

#WINTERABC2021

#DAY 3/5 BUSINESS AND TECH WEEK

DAY 11: THE IMPACT OF TECHNOLOGY ON MY WORLD…

So today I was meant to talk about my worst customer care experience but then I would be doing an injustice to Lutgard who beautifully put my mind in her blog via https://lutgardmusiime.com/pet-peeves-in-business/. She spoke about all those little things in business that can totally mess it all up. Today allow me just tell you about the multiple technological advancements that make me get goose bumps or smile like a baby who sees their mama walk through the door and all she sees is breast milk loading…hahaha;

EAR BUDS/PODS: Once I was walking on the street and I saw a man so vigorously talking to himself. First thing that went through my mind was, “this man is crazy, prepare to run”, but then after a few seconds of listening, he seemed to be having a very meaningful business conversation. Now, I will tell you that in that moment wherever I was headed could wait, I needed to help this brilliant man, find his way to “butabika” (a psychiatric hospital in Kampala, Uganda). However, in a few seconds the man said; “alright. cheers bye”, and then I saw him tap his left ear…the shame and embarrassment that filled me can not be compared to anything at this point. That was the first time I saw the wireless ear buds or pods as some would like to call them. I was so amused I had to tell everyone I saw that day.

AUTO FLUSH TOILETS: I was at a hotel restaurant sometime and then a sudden urge to use the bathroom presented itself. I quickly asked the waitress to point me in the direction of the washrooms and off I went. While busy minding my own trying to eject the unwanted, I looked around and figured, the toilet had no flush button. It was in that moment that I knew, I am stuck in the toilet until someone I know comes to my rescue…I wondered how though. So still in a bid to not give up on finding the flush button, I tell myself; “clean up, cover the toilet and then start to figure out how to flush. After I did all that and got up, the stupid toilet flushed automatically! apart from being frightened, I was mad that the stupid thing could do it on its own and I spent so much time trying to figure it out!

PROJECTOR PRESENTATIONS: I am in the board room with a bunch of colleagues and I am getting ready to do a presentation. I was in before everyone just so I can connect to the projector and not waste anyone’s time trying to connect. So I’m all set but when I move the mouse, while looking at my computer, my presentation disappeared. I was so worked up trying to figure out what had happened, only for me to look up after a few seconds and everyone else is seeing my work on the big screen. What had happened was that the projector screen was as if an extension of my desktop. I’m not even sure if I’m making sense. This technique excited me so much that after the meeting I stayed behind just so I could play with the mouse moving the documents up and down between the projector screen and my laptop.

REMOTE CONTROL CARS: You might not be able to understand this if you’re not in my age bracket but if you had the opportunity to drive or run around per say with those little cars or bicycles made from wire with a somewhat deformed black man in an Ankara outfit seated in/on them, you will agree with me when I say that remote control cars are the solution we didn’t know about. Sometime this month I had an opportunity to drive my son’s car using it’s remote control, I am not sure I can satisfactorily explain how I felt. It was so lazy and yet so much fun! Controlling a car without seating in it? let alone touching it? I was in total bliss!

BLUETOOTH CAR CONNECTION: The first day I knew my car could sync with my phone…I was so mesmerized. There are so many things that excite me when it comes to cars, but that will be a story for another day. Seating in my car and knowing that I don’t have to fidget finding the answer button when my phone rings, let alone start detangling the ear phones😡. Knowing that I could listen to music on my phone in my car without needing ear phones, that was so amazing. Of course it is not funny at all if you have people in the car and suddenly you’re not in position to have a private conversation, but still it is something that I am still super excited about.

I could go on and on about the very many technological changes that are exciting me in my environment lately but I wouldn’t want to make this a one man show; what are those things in technology that excite you so very much? Please feel free to share with me in the comment section.

#DAY 11/22 WINTERABC2021

#BUSINESS AND TECHNOLOGY WEEK

#DAY 2/5

#DAY 10: I MISS FRIENDSHIP👭

Back in the day friendship was so easy, you made friends simply because they are the same faces you see when you got to fetch water, or they are the same people you meet at the church Sunday school, or your parents are friends, or they are your neighbors and suddenly you have playmates. And then the games; “gogolo” as my people call it (those fancy slides

GOGOLO….THE GAME

at play grounds, only that ours were palm tree husks” and this was never on a tarmacked road please. And then the artificial windmills or planes that we would create out of jackfruit leaves; and don’t get me started on riding that car tyre with sticks like it was a real car cruising on a highway…hahahaha.

It was so exciting to keep on rotating random digits on the rotary dial telephone at home; and should I say it was exciting to just keep calling random numbers just so you could keep rotating the phone to dial the digits and occasionally dial 911, just to see what happens.

ROTARY DIAL TELEPHONE

Now everything is just so different, everyone has a phone, and not just a phone; a smart phone, some more advanced than others. Some water proof, others literally allergic to a drop of water. Just one little smart phone has become man’s best friend even the dog can’t compete. I have a friend whose life is ALL on the phone; hungry? I have a couple of food apps, they can deliver! I don’t feel like doing laundry, there’s an app where you can connect with people who do laundry. Bored? There is a ton of games to pick from or even more to download if you wish. I don’t feel like typing; ask google assistant to help; she can do many things that chic. Missing people? check their snap chat, Instagram, Facebook, twitter, and then there’s WhatsApp status.

With all this technology, one can comfortably spend 3 months with out seeing the people they call “friends” simply because they follow them on social media and seem to be very well caught up on their lives. People can no longer hold sensible and meaningful conversations simply because the emojis seem to be doing that really well. We can hardly sit at a restaurant and enjoy a good meal, “I’m too lazy I will just stay at home and order”, while I play candy crush to pass time.

Do you realize how hard it is now to stay on a long phone conversation? Then it was gold! you would be on that phone call until your parents call you for dinner! Now we simply send voice notes or a song to communicate how we feel. I totally miss the days I would receive letters; receiving a letter gave a relationship so much meaning! you knew that you were indeed loved because the person took so much time, bought some decorated paper and a fancy pen, just to write a letter or a poem to you. Now all you’ll get is a voice note with a distracted being on the other end, a text saying HBD or MHSRIEP(This really annoys me)😡 or a sentence composed of emojis.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not against the new technology, believe me, I love it! But I can’t help but miss our simple, innocent and humble lifestyle growing up. I think this new technology especially with the phones is incredible! The things one can do with just want one click of a button! lately it’s not even a click, it’s a finger print or voice, for the voice activated gadgets…there’s even a cloud where you can save stuff, back in the day the only cloud we had was our brain and each one stored stories the way they either happened, or the way they preferred them to happen, no recycle bin, no RAM, nothing!

In as much as I love the technology, I miss friendship as we knew it, the connection, the catch up, the hugs, the undivided attention, I miss that. It’s almost as if the people building technology knew that Covid 19 would wipe all the physical connection away from us and so they prepared us for the future.

This week is business and technology week; I will at some point talk about the worst customer experience I have had, what technology has done to my world, among other things. Do stay with me as we unravel this week’s adventures. Tell me though, how has technology affected your friendships?

#DAY 10/22 WINTERABC2021

#BUSINESS AND TECHNOLOGY WEEK

#DAY 1/5

DAY 9: LET’S RAISE A SINGLE GLASS🍸

DAY 9/22: WINTERABC2021: 5/5 ADVOCACY WEEK

Today we finally conclude advocacy week! I am always excited about a good challenge but I must say that by day 22 I will have definitely grown as a writer. The amount of knowledge I am acquiring, the awesome writers whose work keeps me on a jaw drop, I am loving this journey, both as a writer and just Olivia, the individual. Anyway before I get carried away…let’s get to it.

I have realized that sometimes we never understand certain things until they actually happen to us. It is true when they say experience is the best teacher; I have had an opportunity to be single, dating, married and widowed…yes! it sort of feels like that “old chief kakande” rhyme we used to recite in school;

Old chief Kakande, was born on Monday, went to school on Tuesday, went to work on Wednesday, got married on Thursday, fell ill on Friday, died on Saturday, was buried on Sunday; that was the end of old chief Kakande…

Life happened to me so fast it was almost as if an angel in heaven had stepped on the forward button of my life on earth, eish! that being said I forever applaud single mums🙌. It doesn’t even matter how you got to be one, the fact that you are all by yourself raising a little one(s) already places you in this category that I am talking about.

Each single mum has a story to tell; whether you became a single mum by choice or otherwise. It could be that he up and left claiming his people don’t conceive, or that he is married and is not ready to leave his wife, or you could be like me; he passed on (may his soul rest in peace). Somedays you feel like the superhero mum that can do anything simply because your children are your lifeline or they have idolized you as the ultimate superhero they’ve ever met (duh🙄). These particular days get you thinking you can do all bad by yourself, going all “who needs a man”, I have this all figured out🦸‍♀️.

Somedays you wish someone would just even jokingly ask for a day with your child(ren) and a packed bag will miraculously appear for you to quickly take them up on their offer. This is because in as much as you love them, at this point you are drained from all the noise, the bickering, the crying, then there’s the reporting, don’t even get me started on the following you around as if an extension of your body😡; and in all this you have to keep telling yourself they are only kids, it’s not their fault I’m doing this alone🤦‍♀️.

Other days you are so badly craving a moment entirely to yourself with no one to ever remind you that you literally have off springs. These days are tricky and you often feel wicked and selfish but there’s a part of you that doesn’t give a rat’s ass. All you want to do is feel your young “irresponsible” self again. Go spend on a spa day, raise your legs in a hotel room while you sip on a glass of wine, flip through television channels watching nothing specific, then stop and listen to the silence, dress up and go dancing like the DJ is your relative and the dance floor has your name on it.

Then there come days when you’re just overwhelmed with everything and you wish you had someone to help you or even just give you a hug and say “it is well.” Those days when you sit down and the electricity machine is beeping because you’re running out of units, the water bill has just come in and you know those guys are prompt at disconnections, the food is running out because those little persons eat like they have been hired, this list goes on! Then you start juggling it all in your brain as if a soda factory (too busy) and then you start to feel a block in your throat as if a tablet got stuck there, only for it to build even further, prompting a waterfall through your eyes…yes! I also can’t believe I am trying to make crying sound sophisticated…lol.

Please note that this cycle continues like that stupid menstruation cycle until either you or someone comes into your life and breaks it. Meeting someone you like may not be a problem at all; meeting someone who loves your child(ren) and they love him back is a whole other ball game and it is draining and exhausting because it starts to feel like those weird job interviews that never end because they can’t seem to find the “perfect fit” for the position.

Allow me raise a glass to all the single mums out there, know that I am routing for you, you’re doing an incredible job, don’t downplay your work; you are indeed a super hero. So as we close advocacy week, allow me dedicate day 9 to all of you. May each passing day bring you a whole different level of peace, joy and fulfilment and may you always remember to be proud of yourselves because you’re doing an incredible job👏.

#5/5 ADVOCACY WEEK

#DAY 9/22

#WINTERABC2021

DAY 8: ALL ABOUT THE WOMAN…💃

Allow me go with the basic definition of the word feminism; the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes. The feminist movement (also known as the women’s movement, or simply feminism) refers to a series of political campaigns for reforms on issues such as reproductive rights, domestic violence, maternity leave, equal pay, women’s suffrage, sexual harassment, and sexual violence. Ladies and gentlemen, in case any of you was having a hard time defining the subject, I hope we are now on the same page and comfortable.

I have quite a number of people I know that are feminists; some are, some think they are, others simply desist the thought of being it. But here’s the thing, feminism is many things but it is NOT the absence or deletion of men. There are people who think feminists shouldn’t get married🤔, let alone interact with men at all🤦‍♀️.

I am honored to know the team at Femme Forte, an organization advocating for women, let me not say much this is who they are;

We are a movement building entity. We love women and believe in their advancement in the economic, social and political sphere.
We exist to strengthen pathways between young and older women who aspire to meaningfully contribute to the greater women’s movement in Uganda.”

They run different programs like; body rights and integrity, financial literacy and the wealth agenda as well as transformative feminist leadership. You can catch them on their blog; https://www.femmeforteug.org/our-blog. These women fully define feminism for me; I have taken part in a couple of their equip circles and wow! the things they talk about are things every woman needs to know. I can’t help but think that feminism has been misinterpreted because of a few women who think it is the deletion of men from your life! No it is not!

Being a feminist doesn’t mean you disrespect the men or shun their ideas, it means that any woman can very well be equipped for example in the work place, to do the same jobs the men do. In a home, it is that a woman can speak up if she is being violated both sexually or domestically.

So here’s my 2cents; It is very okay to be a feminist; what is not okay is for you to hide behind the feminist flag just so you can insult the movement. You can be a feminist and have a thriving marriage. You can be a woman in power and still respect your male subordinates. This abuse of the movement is one of the reasons we are now feeling the need to create “a movement for the boy child”. Today I choose to celebrate all the feminists who are speaking up for the woman and creating opportunities in society for them to thrive. To the Femme Forte team, I celebrate you👏👏…

#DAY 8/22 WINTERABC2021

#ADVOCACY WEEK

#DAY 4/5 ADVOCACY WEEK

DAY 7: MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU💓

I wish this post was about my love life as the title may insinuate but nope! It really is about something totally different even though it also involves my heart. Yesterday I mentioned that I would delve into the things that my heart beats for, the things I advocate for and not even consider compromising on at all.

Good customer care: I f you know me well, you most probably have heard me say that customer care is very close to my heart. If you want to know how dramatic or angry I can get, take me to a place with bad service…ho! All hell will break loose. I once went to a restaurant and the waitress was asking me for what I would like to eat while cleaning the table next to mine. She did not even allow me finish what I was saying and she walked away. Look! I can not even begin to tell you where the anger came from, the next person who came to ask if I had been served got concrete feedback from me; I even asked her to please ask that waitress not to come back to serve me. I know you may be having a long day but unfortunately, like a call center advisor, you are expected to be on top of your game all the time! I may also be having a long day and I am counting on the meal I am going to have to put a smile on my face, and there you are spoiling it for me. If it were up to me, I would train almost 70% of businesses in Uganda about great customer care.

The use of common sense: They say common sense is not common but I can’t help but think that it is the basic knowledge you should be having before even education kicks in. Google defines it as sound, practical judgement concerning everyday matters or a basic ability to perceive, understand and judge in a manner that is common to nearly all people. Call me annoying but I can not deal with someone who is not in position to use common sense, it totally tests my patience and makes me feel like you are insulting my intelligence.

Sensitivity or being mindful of others: I have been alive 33 years and I have experienced a ton of insensitive human beings. I am still puzzled by the question of whether people are insensitive on purpose or not. I keep asking myself if it is due to poor upbringing or some people are just selfish. Others even take it a notch higher and engage in tearing people down; I have met people who thrive by talking down on people’s ideas, dress code and generally personality. You have to be deliberate about NOT being insensitive, this is a decision you have to make every time you wake up. The same way you are told that when on the road behind the wheel, you are driving the car you’re seated in, the one in front of you and the one behind you; this is the same way you should think about the things you choose to talk about and do, think about the recipient, put yourself in their shoes and think about how it would make you feel and then decide if you still want to do it or speak about it.

Being you: People who just can not be themselves make me tired! Do you need to put up a whole act? are you even in position to keep up with the appearances that you are creating? Yes sometimes we worry about what people may think of us, but what if they love us instead, then what? Today I read a text on a friend’s status that said; ” the version of me in your mind isn’t my responsibility.” Please take note; people will always have an opinion of you whether you like it or not. So simply be you, that’s it.

Random sexual comments: Being a woman sometimes is exhausting, there come seasons in your life when the other gender just wants to speak their mind even when it’s not called for. “I like how you’ve packaged your breasts,” “you seem to be good to sleep with,” this list is endless, you can help me add on. This is in no way fun or attractive, at least not for me; this to me is sexual harassment. I have come to learn that some women are being harassed sexually and they don’t even know it because we have been made to believe that sexual harassment is about the act itself; for example rape. But that’s not it! even these random comments about our bodies and how a man wants to sleep with you is sexual harassment! Dear men and women too, let us learn to treat the females with respect. Imagine if these things were being said to your sister, or worse still, your mother! I’m sure that wouldn’t settle quite well with you.

Time management: Now this one is super close to my heart and definitely goes hand in hand with poor planning. I do not understand why anyone would be late for anything, not communicate and then show up happily without an apology assuming that all is well with the world😡. I once had a friend, if you made an appointment for 1pm, at exactly 1pm, she would head for the shower. This would drive me insane! how is she not bothered that someone made it a point to be there on time and now they have to wait for her for a duration unknown to them. I asked her if she had communicated and she said “I will be there, it’s not like I have cancelled,” I was so angry and I vowed never to make plans with her if they involved me waiting for her to arrive. This has made me lose a few friends and demote them to acquaintances simply because I couldn’t count on them. By virtue of the fact that you can’t keep time, there are so many things you miss out on including but not limited to promotions, food (if it’s a party), money, and so on. Use the google calendar, plan, plan, plan, and then BE ON TIME!!!

Shouting at or punishing kids for being kids and being rude to them in public: @theafterthought has reminded me of this one and I definitely had to add it.{catch her via https://totheafterthought.wordpress.com } It’s so amazing how we quickly forget; we were very annoying as children, more annoying than our kids now because we lacked technology and so our creativity was on the high regarding what to do with our time! (I’m sure you know what I’m talking about), oh the number of things we ruined in the name of creativity🤦‍♀️. Now our children just make noise with their cool toys and we want to bite their heads off. One day I was driving on the road and was stuck in some bit of traffic so I saw a woman walking with a child; the child then stops and says he’s tired…ho! The rage and slaps that came to the child, even I wasn’t ready! So I stopped my car and stared at her with so much anger and I told her “if you’re tired of him, give him to me”. Hehe, the lady carried her child and she walked on. Well my mission was accomplished💃, he got carried…yaay. But let’s style up, stop pouring your bad day onto the little ones, all they know is to love on you, follow you around😉, eat and make noise, try it it’s a real job that one.

There are a number of things I advocate for but allow me stop here. What do you advocate for? or what is that thing that you are passionate about that makes your blood boil or freeze like Murriel stated on the Afrobloggers group “Does your blood boil or freeze when certain things happen?..” catch her via https://murrielatai.wordpress.com/2021/06/07/are-you-an-advocate-advocacy-week-day-5-winterabc-2021/. I will be waiting to hear from you in the comments section. For now, the journey continues, see you tomorrow for Day 8/22, can’t wait.

#DAY 3 : ADVOCACY WEEK

#WINTERABC2021

#DAY 7/22

DAY 6: JAB OR NO JAB?🤔

DAY 2: ADVOCACY WEEK: WINTERABC2021

Just the other day we were living normal lives and no one could have ever predicted that we would have masks as accessories every single day, and not as a fashion statement but as a way of staying safe and alive, guarding ourselves against Covid-19 or “sennyiga omukambwe” like the baganda call it. Now you can hardly be allowed anywhere without a mask and without washing or sanitizing your hands.

Last week I happened to read a heated discussion on one of the whatsapp groups I am a part of and these people were all over the Covid vaccine like they invented it. I am going to share some of the views expressed but not the responses, so here goes;

5 out of 10 people I have spoken to today hae Covid19 and this variant doesn’t spare children either, including toddlers. Secondly, one of my workmates spent over 14m on treatment and our employer had step in to help with the medial bills. I am not sure whether many of us can afford the same here and thus encourage you to take the vaccine when still available.

Whether vaccine or not, people die.

But even those who are vaccinated are getting the virus and dying.

No one has the final verdict on this vaccine, therefore everyone cares for themselves.

A vaccine that was rushed, produced and approved for use is bound to have shortcomings. However, just go get it. it’s better than none at all.

The comments go on and on; this goes to show you that everyone wants to be heard and therefore we end up not listening at all. Everyone has an opinion on the vaccine even those who last interacted with science and its counterparts in O’level (this is me on the science part. haha.” My challenge though is when logic kicks in, I wonder whether we confirmed that all the vaccines we got before this one were truthfully tested; were you there? what kind of evidence cana lay man present to prove that these vaccines were viable and ready to be used? It is rather painful to sit through these conversation, or should I call them arguments?

Many people are advocating for the virus to be stopped and yet they have no clue whatsoever how the vaccine works, or even if there have been any failed cases. I have also learned that most people only take Covid 19 seriously when they lose a loved one to it. Then everything suddenly seems so real and they dash to get the vaccine🙄.

Then there’s the group that my sister likes to call rebels, hahaha. Those ones have the “we shall all die” attitude or the white people are out to get us, they are using us a guinea pigs! And frankly, could you blame them? Picture this, half the nation finally gets vaccinated and people start turning into zombies or aliens depending on how well the vaccine gelled with your blood…hahaha. So let’s say you’re having a conversation with friends at a restaurant and suddenly one starts twitching, the other blinking and the eye almost popping out, hahahaha and then you are super freaked out only for it to dawn on you that you never got vaccinated, imagine the joy!!😀😄coupled with the “I told you so” song.

ZOMBIE LAND

Let’s look at the flip side though, you got the vaccine💉, this does not in any way guarantee that you won’t get the virus; however, it is a way of helping your body cope better when if you happen to catch it. Same thing for measles, almost everyone was vaccinated for measles but some people still contracted it. Vaccines are not cures for diseases; let’s look at the basic google definition;

A substance used to stimulate the production of antibodies and provide immunity against one or several diseases, prepared from the causative agent of a disease, its products, or a synthetic substitute, treated to act as an antigen without inducing the disease.

I do not think it is wise for me to elaborate after Google’s explanation. Lovely people, let us be alert, this virus is not a joke; do what you have to do but at the end of the day you owe it to yourself to be safe, alive and well. So kindly continue to sanitize, drink lots of water, keep your mask on, practice social distancing, and if you think you must, get the jab.

Someone once said, “You have one life to live and there are no spare parts,” left my brain wandering off to so many things. But hey, don’t let your opinion on this stay in your head, do share with me in the comment section, your opinion definitely counts.

Day 3 I will be talking about the things I advocate for. I hope you’re still journeying with me😃.

#DAY 2 ADVOCACY WEEK

#WINTERABC2021

#DAY 6/22

DAY 5: IS IT WORTH IT?

#DAY5

Been seated here thinking about this week and the advocacy theme; so much I would like to talk about regarding advocacy. If you know me well, you know that I definitely stand for what I believe in. So this week has my mind flying all over the place with so many things to address; No! it is not a good thing because I don’t seem to be choosing which one to settle with today🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️. However, when someone says advocacy, for starters I think legal affairs immediately; “I want my lawyer now!!!” haha forget that, I’m just being dramatic.

When it comes to the issue at hand, I see so many Ugandans starting up something with the aim of making a mark on society and their hearts are always in a good place until they are joined with more and more people and the vision bearer forgets to do a refresher so everyone goes with their own formed version and then still expect to move together. I look at advocacy as an act of supporting a cause or proposal.

Back then when I was in boarding school, being so tiny and short with a deep husky voice, {yes, like a blue tooth speaker!} I remember being idle in class as we waited for teachers to come through after lunch; those lessons were such a drag😴 especially after eating posho and beans; I’m sure many of you can relate.

So one of the students suggests that as we wait for the teacher, we should rename people in class based on story book characters. Then one decided that Olivia has a good handwriting and therefore she should write. Without hesitation, I was very excited to be apart of this awesome cause and grabbed a pen to start writing. Please be advised that we were literally seated on the front row of the classroom. And so it begins; Jennifer-Thumbelina, Jalia-Cinderella, Nicholas-Ginger bread man (don’t ask); this went on with so much laughter and fun ; as the secretary I got so much support and applaud. Until we came to the book titled “beauty and the beast”. This couldn’t be given to just one person. So the “cheer leaders” suggested that we separate them; forget about who beauty was, Fatuma earned herself the beast title.

Laughter filled the front row and by this time the front row had grown all the way to the middle row; if you catch my drift. Then people started glancing at her and rolling on the floor in laughter over and over. This was so much fun until it wasn’t. Fatuma snatched the paper I was writing on, quickly perused through and off she dashed out; to THE STAFFROOM!!🙆‍♀️. She was infuriated, showed the teacher the paper and named everyone who took part. The teacher quickly eats up his lunch and comes to the classroom.

“Olivia, I know this is your handwriting, make mention of everyone you were with” . Being the brilliant person I am, my brain and I quickly decided that I needed to be the hero or else I am going to suffer in the dormitory. I swore to the teacher over ten times that I acted alone and had no help whatsoever. I received 30 strokes of the cane. Now, if you were in boarding school you know that most of the teachers took breaks in between caning. By the time I got up from the ground, I could hardly feel my butt.

After that day, I vowed never to just join random causes just because the “cool kids” or the majority seem to be up for it. Some of the things we advocate for are just totally evil and we need to stop, reflect and make an informed decision. This could have been fun but it could also have ruined Fatuma’s esteem for life.

Now I am older and wiser, I always make it a point to understand why certain causes exist and why I need to be apart of them. This week I hope I can dissect this advocacy beast the way I have been dying to. Stay with me, we are still on this 22 day journey, keep smiling, stay hydrated and never stop reading.

#DAY 1 OF ADVOCACY WEEK

#DAY 5/22

#WINTERABC2021

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