A NEW NORMAL…

Today I went to pick up my kids where they had spent the day and a lovely lady said hi to me and then she said; “you have bounced back quite fast!” I got so curious and so I decided to ask her what she meant. Then she said to me that I have come out of mourning so fast and now I even dress nicely…I stared at her and smiled.😀

I imagined what life would be if we all walked around wearing our hearts/ emotions on our sleeves😀🤣😪😭😡🤬🤪…that would be quite disastrous, wouldn’t it? But also she got me thinking; is there a time frame for a woman to mourn her husband? Should she keep the whole world updated every time she thinks or remembers him and she breaks down?

I guess the world has set so many standards and expectations of how we should act when certain things happen to us. Unfortunately for my case, only those who really know who I am are able to gauge “how fast I’m moving on”…wow….I’m still in awe. Am I supposed to go to work in bark cloth to affirm that I am still mourning the death of my husband? There’s also the judgement around; “Why is she even being like that yet they were already apart”…

What people seem to forget is that after burial, the rest of the world moves on; they continue with their lives as if someone clicked the “next” button. And then you are left to start dealing with the pain at an individual level. For some reason, everything that reminds you of this person becomes super evident; or at least you’re very aware of it.

I wonder what moving on even looks like! It is more scary to move on especially when it is even still hard to accept that he is gone. I keep hoping that it’s all a prolonged prank that is about to end and then he will come back and say “it was just a joke.” Then I will be relived knowing that I do not have to raise these beautiful children on my own, that they will still have someone to call “daddy”.

As my babies and I adjust to our new normal; I have come to learn that the world will always have it’s opinions; dear child, handle your pain at your pace; whether fast or slow and I pray that God’s grace will be sufficient enough for you to accept that your loved one is no more and also that you may experience healing…total healing.